Ahhhhhhhhh.....that's a huge sigh of relief and appreciation I feel at being back here. I just cannot express how strange it was being home...on so many levels. Probably the hardest thing was the question "how is Africa"....how do I answer that....usually I said "great" a la Nell. But we have been so changed by this experience....but it seemed strange once we were back in our familiar city. In some ways nothing had changed....but us. I think also the fact that we were home at xmas, was an added intensity factor. So much consumerism and excess. I felt like I was constantly at odds with my surroundings and many times the people as well. How should I appreciate the huge lighted xmas tree when I know 90% of the people live without power here everyday....how do I answer the questions about financially protecting my children when they are already set....how do I not squirm at the waste, the packaging, the excess....the fatness. I really struggled with how to feel comfortable in that environment. Don't get me wrong....I ate about 75 Filet o Fishes....had room service brought to me many mornings....slept in warm beds with nice sheets....I enjoyed myself...but always with a sense of what others don't have. I am not so much annoyed by the people who have....just those who have and don't appreciate or get their place in the world. I now know that Nell and Pearl get it.....their comments were amazingly insightful and on target. Coming back here felt like a relief to all three of us. Our life is simple...has a purpose that we all believe in. We feel life in it's rawest form....not the drama's that rich bored people create. Yesterday our rabbit gave birth to 6 babies....they all died...it was a hard time for Nell especially who had been anticipating their birth....she watched the whole thing happen. She cried and then buried them....she has been experiencing the life cycle here....sees that we are mortal....life is short.....enjoy it in whatever way gives you happiness and inner calm...whether that be a new marriage....an acceptance of your sons' brothers' exhusbands' choices....whether it be moving to a 3rd world country.....finding new love....sharing it with your family and friends....it's all individual and i am rambling....
Just wishing everyone an inner peace that the girls and i have expereinced here and a hope that we will be able to incorporate it in our life at home.
PS....there is a new girl in Pearl's class.....named...Pearl.
Love to you all!
Sarah
Thursday, January 17, 2008
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