PHEW....retirement is good.

I am happy for the concept of retirement...first of all because my Mom is retired and has been able to spend the last 3 weeks with us. She was a wonderful stand in as mom while I adventured with our group. My kids have had an experience with her that will last a lifetime. She was a little shaky about the idea at first but quickly and deftly rose to the occasion and became a Tanzanian bibi (grandma). She has been so focused and present with my kids, I feel so happy for them to have this time with her.
I am secondly happy for retirement because I can use that word to get me out of future Kili climbs. Just for the record...it's hard....really hard. I know by doing it three times it may seem that it isn't but...after watching the faces and hearing the reactions of my fellow climbers this time...I know. This time had a lot of pressure for me...when Shawna got sick, I had a pit in my stomach. How could I go up without my girl...she's the physically tough one...I look to her in triathlons etc. I needed her. When she went down....I had to remind myself that we had recruited these poor souls to get to the top and now it was my job. We did it....but when we got to the summit I had to turn around and go down...didn't feel right to be up there without my partner in crime. So now...I have retired...the only way I'll pull a baseball Micheal Jordan is if Nell or Pearl want to see the amazing glaciers that always bring tears to my eyes. I cried hard while I walked down alone....it is glorious up there...a sight that one can never express in words. I feel lucky for the images that are in my head of this trip....Yong and Jimmy with tears in their eyes...Jamie beaming from ear to ear.....Joanne making it to Gillman's long after all had quit....Leslie and her amazing optimism that just barely flickered out, only to come back in full force bonfire style...
This group was amazing.....a group of brains doing something physical...an interesting combination. Jim M. summitting without his two sick daughters...making them proud, Tara proving that she is powerful in many ways...Julie being inspired and inspiring others....Melissa being growled at every step of the summitt....Anna so amazingly self deprecating while summitting Kili (the two don't seem to go together)....Amy Kaplan...irrespressible and so funny!!! Kay...looking good every step while being quietly sooo strong....a force.
I feel so lucky to have spent this time with these people....life is a bit of a let down right now...but there will be new summitts to conquer. I am ready.
thanks...
Sarah