EASE

We are back and I am trying to put together our life here. Thus far the thing that strikes me is the ease of it all....aisles of food, smooth roads, hot showers, happy freinds and family....but still it is odd. Not a poor person in sight...many huge cars....people with no sense about how the rest of the world lives....just striving for the next better car, TV set, house etc....
Talk is all about the economy....I wanna scream WHATEVER....people have no idea what it means to live with NO money....eating the fruits and vegetables from your own land...
In the three days home....already three references to Africa as a country....embarassing.
I'll write more when less jetlagged and overwhelmed....but damn if my vanilla soy latte wasn't good this morning....

It Ain't Easy.

It ain't easy this idea of wrapping up our life here in 6 duffle bags. But one of the main lessons I have learned in my life is that, the great stuff is usually learned and attained through struggle. Of course, this may just be my personal path through life.....struggle struggle....reward...struggle struggle reward. The most painful and difficult things have brought me the most personal growth. I think of my Dad's death by brain cancer...watching and incorporating each step closer to his inevitable death....the lessons that taught me about living in the moment, appreciating the important relationships in our lives and weeding out the toxic ones....and that really, this is it...one chance....seize it. I never could have imagined at the time that his death could have had such a profound positive effect on me. Divorce....similar, but really more a test of what I learned from my dad's struggle. I had choices and could implement what I had learned. Only get one chance at this...do I spend it mired in the mess that was my marriage or try to live a life that reflects the fraility of things for my kids. Try, in my own way, to live a life that reflects the lessons I hope will equip them to be productive members of society and live true to themselves. Parenting is so humbling and I just hope and stay in the moment and do my best....but it ain't easy.
Leaving Tanzania ain't easy....I have a constant lump in my throat. I try to avoid all conversations about "when will you be back?" "why do you have to go" both questions I can not answer. Tomorrow we have a goodbye assembly at school....certain kids have asked to say some things about Nell and Pearl....just the idea makes my eyes fill with tears. They have so loved it here....their school experience could not have been better if I scripted it....
Then Wed...the day we fly home, the Tumaini Center kids are throwing us a lunch....oh bring on the kleenex...that is going to be painful. It ain't easy to think the only way our Swahili will be saved is if we use it as our private language as we plan....it ain't easy to say good-bye to all the people who have supported us in so many ways...
It ain't easy.

comin home

I have decided to rip the bandaid off quickly and make our plans to come home. I have been in full denial about the fact that we would be flying back and going to our home and settling back into our lives there. On one hand I/we are ready....sometimes we muse over who we can't wait to see or what we can't wait to eat....or about our beds...or toys. Other days we are just thinking about what/who we will be leaving and giving up to come back to our home. Pearl put it best " I am sad, happy, excited, nervous and surprised" Yep...why can't we be feeling all those things at once....we are...it's new thing....we'll see how it goes. To those of you in Chicago...see you in 10 days.

Mt Meru and More

So...it's been a while....always a good sign if you are wondering about my state of mind. If I write often it can be deduced that I am brooding over things that are probably pointless and will change soon enough anyway....instead...I have been climbing mountains again. I climbed Mt. Meru about a week ago with two 'mama's" from the kids school. I already loved and admired these women but there is nothing like hiking for 14 consecutive hours and clinging to rocks in the dark to solidify a friendship. Meru is steeeeeeep and technical and somewhat scary in the most exhilarating kind of way. I LOVED it....but to anyone who cares or who has climbed Kili it is harder. Kili has great altitude and one usually feels drunk or sick as a result....but Meru has huge rock cliffs, with dizzying drop offs....when the sun comes up and you are headed down...the realization of what you did (in the dark) hits hard. Nericia, my friend, choose to tell us that this was her first experience hiking...while we were in the dark....oh and that she was afraid of heights...needless to say she summited...asking me to take her picture at the summit with Kili looming in the background. When the sun decided to rise during our ascent it came up directly behind Kili...we had to sit...and take it in. ONCE AGAIN I was reminded how freaking beautiful this country is....and how I will be forever changed by having a year of mountain climbing, running on dirt roads, hiking with my kids to waterfalls, seeing monkeys in the trees....ahhh....the list goes on and on. It was glorious.

Then...however...this morning...the reality of where we are on the otherhand sunk in again...as is life here. After droppingthe girls off at school and strapping on my running shoes...I encountered many people on the road near a car. when I got close I saw a woman lying in a pool of blood. She had been hit by a speeding Daladala (local bs/mini van). I don't know if I have mentioned the crazy reckless speed of these vehicles before...byt they have caused me to cringe oh so many times. Seems this woman ( older mama) had been simply walking down the road....and bam...so strange to watch people's reactions....the Tanzanians have a way of just reacting, but not showing any emotion in comparison to my friend elaine and her husband who were trying to load the woman into their car. Elaine was horrified beyond belief ( understandably) and was crying and shaking...strangely no one else was....their calm and acceptance of horrible events struck me. So many struggles for the people of this culture...hard to even react to others pain. Must get these bananas to market so my family has food tonight...must get these jugs of oil back to the shamba(farm), must get this huge bundle of sticks to my home before it rains again and the firewood is wet.

WHEREBAYLESSBE>BLOGSPOT>COM

I messed up last post....not wherebebayless....but wherebaylessbe.blogspot.com

Bayless

wherebebayless.blogspot.com Check out our mother's Day story!!! Just got down from Meru...hurting....more later.

Number 80

Yes folks even though I have been slacking big time (explanation following) this is indeed the 80th blog of Sasafrica. I am proud of myself...because when my ghost writer (Josh) gets a hold of it for the book, he already has at least 80 pages to work from. (Does gooogle own a publishing house somewhere?)
So...the excuse....same one I usually have for most things....having too much fun, in the moment, lost track of time, "I was at the library". Life has been great...I went through a bit of a down turn at the end of March, but am now happy to say back to fully loving it. I wonder if this is the normal progression for life abroad...now that the end is in sight, I really really really don't want to come home...all looks new again. Everything that I love about this place is working her magic on me. This week alone, for example, Nell goes hiking in the rainforest tomorrow as the culmination of her unit on rainforests....Pearl attended and completed an entire yoga class on a platform over a river with monkeys swinging overhead....and I leave to climb Mt. Meru on monday. Another reason for not wanting to leave is the simple fact that I finally
"get it" .....it takes a long time and a lot of patience to understand and get comfortable in a new culture....we finally have a handle on the language, I've learned the customs of doing business here and we have made some deep and dear friends. It's hard to look at what we have done and figure out how to leave it....hoping most of the things will continue on?! Will Mappy complete his education? Where will Millin go to university? Will Tropical Ice really send all their mountain trips to us as we are working on? Will the porter training kids continue on in their tourism studies? Will we be back to have tea at Nericia's tea garden? etc. etc.....it goes on and on...
Then comes the thoughts about what the heck I'll do at home? Set up an office to continue this work? It won't possibly match the office here with the batik curtians and Shawna's art work. But...I will have consistent power, a printer (UG), internet, reliable phone connections etc...hmmmm.
Lots to deal with...but for now we are really enjoying and taking every chance to soak up this beautiful place and people.
Love and Peace,
Sarah

8 hours and 27 minutes

That's how long it took Simon Mtuy to RUN up AND down Kili. He holds the record. To day I finally met and had a meeting with Simon. I am trying to convince him to hire some of the porters we trained in the Fall. He was so excited about what we did and the philosophy behind it....it was thrilling. He loved the idea of women porters....that these were kids that were orphaned because of HIV/AIDS....he lost his brother to the disease. The thing that struck me the most was just his physical awesomeness....tall lanky confident and compassionate. It felt like being in the presence of greatness...
The other exciting thing that happened is we now are the proud parents of 7 healthy 3 week old baby rabbits. Our (smart) gardener decided not to tell us until they grew a bit...but boy are they cute. We are trying to apply all the things we have learned through our other escapades with animals this year...now i think we will get it right....and they will make beautiful parting gifts to all Nell and Pearl's friends....
Good Africa day.....stimulating and exciting!
Peace,
Sarah

Chairs vs. Men with Shovels and Big Rocks

You know that Chicago tradition of saving parking spaces with chairs? I have found the Moshi/Tanzania equivalent. Yesterday after getting stuck for the third time ( i did mention the rain, right?) I was attempting to once again get down the road to our house. This time I was stopped by the men with shovels who had placed big rocks in the road while they "fixed" it. They asked me to donate to the road fund...."any amount would be enough"...after giving my 100 TSH (10 cents) they removed the rocks and I was on my way. I had that same "can they do that" feeling I get when I find a folding chair in a parking spot.
YOU must check out the blog called thatskeen.blogspot.com It has a great U-Tube video of Sara Wright''s visit here...amazing. I love it.
I'm gearing up to climb Mt. Meru in May....the second highest in Tanzania...word on the dirt road is..it is more beautiful...more technical (than KILI)and has seven fake summits. I am doing it with some Mom friends from Nell and Pearl's school should be great.
Hope all are well!
Peace,
Sarah

Still Raining

And raining and raining and raining....and raining....but I actually quite enjoy it. There is something very cozy about wanting to be inside after all this sunshine and heat. I'm sure those of you in Chicago have no sympathy...but really heat and sunshine drones on too. It's interesting to for the weather to be getting colder and moving toward winter as you all are getting ready for Spring....but the good news....I got our tickets home...June 12th we'll be back. seems like a very short time considering what I still want to accomplish while here. I can however feel my nesting instinct settling in....I ordered new curtains from India (so cool, so cheap) and am having a new bed made to emulate the ones in a safari camp i love...I'm picturing myself in my old environment again...getting ready.
Girls are giggling under their mosquito nets right now...that i'll miss....out simple quiet early evenings...
we'll be taking full advantage of our time here but feel the creep of time heading us back across the world.
Peace,
Sarah

Top of the Roller Coaster

As I have tried to expand on before, Africa has a way of taking one on a ride....there are high highs and low lows...it is a continent of extreme beauty and wide open spaces juxtaposed to searing poverty and corruption. The daily ups and downs...give and take...learning and relearning can be both exhilarating an exhausting. Before coming to Lamu I had had it...with everything and everyone...down on America and the possibility of taking my girls back, down on Tanzania and the idea that I had to be there one more day....just tired and over it all. NOW, I feel so utterly refreshed and ready to reface the challenges and adjustments of daily life here on this continent. I have been able to take a relaxed look at our time here thus far and think deeply about what we have learned and gained from our time here. It has been such an amazing life changing time...
Lamu is gorgeous...put it on your must visit in this lifetime list...it is an island filled with wonderful characters. I have been so enjoying Carol the owner of Peponi Hotel where I am staying...we went snorkeling with her girls (15 and 17) and she cooked fresh fish on the beach while we drank "shandy's" ( Sprite and Tusker Beer) all the while the baboons peering at us waiting for the leftovers. The sea was filled with bright blue and green irridescent eggs implanted in the many colored coral...I have never seen this before and still can't get a answer as to what kind of eggs they are...but just beautiful. I have missed my girls this week but am so glad they are spending time with their dad on Zanzibar....a lucky lucky life we are leading. I look forward to getting back to Tanzania...several trips are coming in the next two months (hard to believe that is all that is left of our time here). The girls will continue at their wonderful school with field trips and many interesting units still to come....the rainy season will continue there for the next two weeks ( it is a month later here in Kenya) so we can continue to watch the fields and trees transform themselves from their parched states.
Peace...
Sarah

AHHHHHHH.....

Pretty much couldn't be happier right now. I am on the Island of Lamu off the coast of Kenya ( no, war is over, power sharing agreement signed and Kofi Anan arriving for more mediating tomorrow). Lamu is an island that has somehow escaped the progress of time. There are no cars...transportaion is either a dhow (local wooden boat) or a donkey or by foot. The buildings reflect the coastal Swahili Arabic style...just gorgeous..blue blue waters...and get this...the hotel where I am staying has flown in a European sushi chef for the week!!! The godesses are smiling on me. I will write more as I will have time this week between my snorkeling trips and reading any of the 6 books I brought...oh and this guy is teaching me windsurfing...life is rough sometimes....but not now.
Peace,
Sarah

50 cent haircut

Not 50 Cent like the rapper, but I imagine if I had asked for that cut it would have turned out differently. I have the grossest hair these days...bleached out, dry, too long...so I could not take it one more day...went to a barber shop(allegedly "the guy does mzungu hair") Um...I'm pretty sure from the way he a. picked/combed my hair b. didn't wet...or touch it while he cut it, that c. he had never touched a white woman's head before. While one part of me wanted to get up and run, the other just had to see what was gonna happen. It's no secret my hair looks the same since the day I had to let it air dry after swimming in High School...but I like to think there are variations...not so. It looks the same. Just texted Jodi...she said she got her haircut too. her cut cost 60$....I could get 120 cuts for that mess!!! Come on over Jod...I'll hook you up.

Double Rainbows

The girls and I just spent a lazy Saturday afternoon at one of our favorite spots in town. Pearl somehow contracted amoebas and has had a tough time this week. She is very much on the mend and we are all happy about that....today she ate TWO mango ice cream cones....all's well in the world. On the way home from our pleasant afternoon we noticed an amazing double rainbow...I had only ever heard of these...but there it was! We pulled the car over to sit in the mist and enjoy its beauty. Sometimes...moments.....life is just right.

Victimless Crime

Eliot Spitzer.....breathe don't judge....bahahahahahaa.

Kicking and Screaming

I am having time to process a lot lately...and it is needed and good. I have been thinking about one thing a lot. I have felt super judgemental about America, consumerism, people who haven't traveled....people who have no idea about Africa. Now, I am taking a step back and realizing the complete stupidity of this. Tanzania and Africa have touched my soul...I am forever changed...my views of the world for me, for my kids....for humanity have been affected. I am now realizing that my "kicking and screaming" approach is not going to ever share that message. I need to share openly, without judgement, what I have felt and how I have been moved. The greatest teachers of this lesson are the Tanzanian people...they are so open and kind and move slowly with concentration of where they are at that moment. Preplanning doesn't exist...they are in the here and now. I think this happens for a variety of reasons....first and foremost poverty drives their lives...each day they are consumed with food, water....how to pay for school, get ahead....these daily needs keep them in the moment. With this struggle comes beauty....simplicity. Hard to really imagine this I think....we equate struggle with pain and suffering....I am learning instead the benefits and long term benefits of it....we grow, we see...we feel.
I just finished reading the Time magazine article by Bob Geldof (is he single?)on Bush's visit to Africa. I knew before that Bush has given more to Africa than ony other world leader EVER. I knew the staggering numbers associated to this money...for example, in 2003 50,000 Africans were on HIV antiretroviral drugs...today 1.3 are receiving medicines for free. 1.5 are getting Malaria and TB meds...for free. The US contributes 50% of all food aid. One of his quotes in this article was "US solutions should not be imposed on African leaders" But that is where my "kicking and screaming" judgemental side kicked in....I wondered...isn't this true of Iraq too? Deep breath...calm...appreciate the good he has done, think about the future Presidents potential to continue to do good work here. The not judging thing is something I am working on....it's a process right?
Peace and musings from my net.
Sarah

Blog Unrest

First...all....please check out thatskeen.blogspot.com for my friend Sara Wright's reactions to her time here visiting us! She even has pics!
Second....negative comment-er....why? I don't get it....
My mom left tonight...sad to see her go. She has been so open and wonderful this month...we has a great time. Sara leaves early a.m. I am doing my level best to get her to stay!!!
I need to refocus on work and my job here. I am looking forward to getting our next few trips organized. There is a GREAT yoga trip coming in Sept. for anyone interested in a yoga/climb experience. Karen Conter will be leading this trip....she is a smiley positive wonderful human. She would be very fun and inspirational. I think the yoga climb combo will be a great one....more details of that trip coming!
Love to all more later this slow weekend...promise.
Love and Peace
Sarah

My Body hates me

Ug...I am lying here in physical pain. Ran the Kili half Marathon yesterday...a glorious not to be missed experience....but today my 42 year old body is reminding me that I just climbed Kili and that she is having NON of this crap. She has advised me to take to my bed....ug.
More later on the amazing experience it was to run 6and a half miles up Kili and 6and a half miles down...all the while being trailed by kids with no shoes but huge grins. I wondered what their impressions of this old white lady running on their streets was??? The course allowed us half runners to view the leaders at several times. They literally flew by going up hill...drawing gasps from teh crowds and other runners. Amazing. The race ended with nell and pearl running with me into the stadium and across the finish line. let me just give you a quick visual....they were the only white kids...barring about 3 others....out of thousands of people...Nell had a Masaai cloth on and Pearl had a sparkly tutu....quite the sight. Love them so much. Ug...gotta go...feel like crap.

PHEW....retirement is good.

I am happy for the concept of retirement...first of all because my Mom is retired and has been able to spend the last 3 weeks with us. She was a wonderful stand in as mom while I adventured with our group. My kids have had an experience with her that will last a lifetime. She was a little shaky about the idea at first but quickly and deftly rose to the occasion and became a Tanzanian bibi (grandma). She has been so focused and present with my kids, I feel so happy for them to have this time with her.
I am secondly happy for retirement because I can use that word to get me out of future Kili climbs. Just for the record...it's hard....really hard. I know by doing it three times it may seem that it isn't but...after watching the faces and hearing the reactions of my fellow climbers this time...I know. This time had a lot of pressure for me...when Shawna got sick, I had a pit in my stomach. How could I go up without my girl...she's the physically tough one...I look to her in triathlons etc. I needed her. When she went down....I had to remind myself that we had recruited these poor souls to get to the top and now it was my job. We did it....but when we got to the summit I had to turn around and go down...didn't feel right to be up there without my partner in crime. So now...I have retired...the only way I'll pull a baseball Micheal Jordan is if Nell or Pearl want to see the amazing glaciers that always bring tears to my eyes. I cried hard while I walked down alone....it is glorious up there...a sight that one can never express in words. I feel lucky for the images that are in my head of this trip....Yong and Jimmy with tears in their eyes...Jamie beaming from ear to ear.....Joanne making it to Gillman's long after all had quit....Leslie and her amazing optimism that just barely flickered out, only to come back in full force bonfire style...
This group was amazing.....a group of brains doing something physical...an interesting combination. Jim M. summitting without his two sick daughters...making them proud, Tara proving that she is powerful in many ways...Julie being inspired and inspiring others....Melissa being growled at every step of the summitt....Anna so amazingly self deprecating while summitting Kili (the two don't seem to go together)....Amy Kaplan...irrespressible and so funny!!! Kay...looking good every step while being quietly sooo strong....a force.
I feel so lucky to have spent this time with these people....life is a bit of a let down right now...but there will be new summitts to conquer. I am ready.
thanks...
Sarah

Elephants can be aggressive

Details are still coming in but it seemed that a large male elephant was either very attracted to or intensly annoyed with Anna and Joanne. Not sure which is more likely. The other travelers were alerted by screams from their Land Rover and turned to see the truck speeding away from a chasing bull elephant. Fortunately for our adventurers, Land Rover's are faster than elephants.

Despite the excitement, the safari was amazing and enjoyed by all. Another highlight was coming upon a pride of lions finishing off a wildabeast kill. While the vegetarians in the group were rather mortified, everyone was amazed when the lions decided to rest in the shade of their trucks, close enough that they could see the blood on their fur. A cheetah and her cubs also made an appearance. Not a bad way to end a trip in Africa.

The team is now heading back to the airport for their return home. Fortunately, KLM is a bit more reliable in terms of the timing of their flights than some of the other African aviation companies. Hope to see them back this weekend.